ANECODTES FROM A JERK, PART SIX.

I wrote about this on a previous blog when it happened a couple of years back.  Once again, since I wasn’t a jerk, I’m not sure it belongs in this series.  Anyways, the lesson was:

How to choke a dog

I was at the park near where I lived at the time, with a woman I was seeing at the time.  She was practicing some yoga, and I was practicing some suburi.  We were walking home when we happened to see a man being attacked by a dog.  It was one of those big scary things that eats babies.  The victim was walking his much smaller dog, when the bigger one came out of nowhere, no leash or collar, and grabbed his dog and ran off with it.  When he tried to get his dog back, the big dog bit him several times and dragged him across the street. My first instinct was actually not to help him.  I’m ashamed of that, but it was what occured – I’m scared of big mean dogs.  The woman I was with ran over to help the guy, and I told her not to, because I didn’t want to see her get hurt.  So that’s when I decided to try to help.  What I saw was a man, bleeding from dog bites, clothes tattered,. being pinned down by a big dog that had a small dog in it’s mouth.  He was screaming:

Please help me, please!

So I had to make a quick choice.  I decided that since the dog hadn’t really paid me any mind yet, and his mouth was full of little dog, that I might go for a rear naked choke.  The dog was big, but I was bigger, and once I put my entire weight on it’s back and applied the choke, everything was fine – for a bit.  He coughed up the little dog, which lived, and stopped attacking.  However, I didn’t manage to make the dog pass out.  I didn’t want to hurt the dog, but I was strangling it.  When I tried once to lessen the hold on the dog, it started to growl and tried to turn towards me.  So I just kept strangling it.  A crowd formed, but none of them would help me.  Finally, I asked my lady friend to hand me my suburito.  I imagine that I surprised a few people when I told them:

I’m letting Cujo here go.  If he starts acting up, well, he’s getting killed right here.

That’s when the owner finally decided to own up and collar and leash the dog.  Afer being strangled for ten minutes, the dog was more than happy to be let go without attacking anyone else.  Both the human and canine victims were saved.

What did I learn:

  • That I am really scared of dogs.  But as a martial artist, fear can’t be my operating system.
  • You can effectively choke the big dogs if the position presents itself.
  • Apparently no one wants to see a dog get hit with a bokken, even if it attacked someone.
  • That I am really scared of dogs.
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