I’M PRETTY SURE THAT GEORGE W. BUSH IS NOT GOING TO PLANT WATERMELONS AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR OBAMA’S ARRIVAL.

Apparently, the “jokes” tell otherwise. So today, I was at work, and my boss thought that would be something that I would find funny.  My first reaction was to tell her:

Why would you even say something like that to me?

Then I walked off.  I started to get really, really angry, for a number of reasons, all at once.  I mean, I get it, your guy didn’t win, he gave up, and THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, so all you have to say to me about it is a racist joke.  So wow, I guess it really was just a “race”/skin color thing to some people.  Wow, this adult woman just said this to me, as if I would appreciate the “humor” in that, or as if I’m even-tempered or something.  The “joke” wasn’t even clever.  Any racist with a third grade education could have made that joke up.  Wow, so my boss is telling me this joke.  What a way to take advantage of the employer/employee dynamic.  Ordinarily, when something like this happens, say at a bar, I like to curse people out and/or slap them.  I have zero tolerance for things like that.  When I went to sit outside to cool off a bit, she came outside to talk to me.  It went something like this:

Autrelle, are you upset about something?

I would really rather not talk about it.

Well what’s wrong?  Are you mad about what I said to you earlier?

Yes.  It was completely rude, racist, and unintelligent.  I can’t believe that you had the nerve to tell me that.  I never imagined that you could say something as nasty as that.

I only told you that joke because I thought you would think it was funny.

How would I think that was funny and not completely racist?  In fact, I would like you to explain to me exactly how that is just a really funny joke, and not something racist and offensive.

Well, you know, how black people, they’re associated with watermelons?

(I just stare at her.)

I think, you know, they used to sell watermelons?

(I decide to start talking again because I’m visualizing doing something bad, and I need to get my mind away from that…) Wow.  That was the least convincing argument I have heard, ever.  Those are just racist stereotypes in “joke” format.  I still remain highly offended.

Well, Autrelle, there are SO MANY jokes like that out there, I only told you that one because it was the mildest one that I have heard.

Well I suppose I should thank you for sparing your really bad racist jokes.

Well, I’m sorry that if I offended you. (Note that she was not sorry for telling me the joke, or for painting herself as an ignorant racist to me, just sorry that I got offended.  I honestly think that in her mind, she doesn’t think that she has done anything wrong.)

There you have it.  I live in a wonderfully progressive city called Jacksonville, Florida, in the Riverside area.  Go figure.  I’m on fire right now.  Let’s hear your feedback people, and don’t hold back – I’m not going to.

THE RACIST TEST.

I’ll spare you the details.  This guy comes up to me and tells me story about some recent crimes, and says

I’m not trying to sound racist, but…

Followed by a racist statement.

Just so you know, you do in fact sound racist.  And the fact that you did it without even trying is truly a testament to your ability.  With practice, you be a wonderfully well-spoken racist.

Just sayin’.